|Image via Holly Gerth|
Every morning since we made this decision I wake up EXCITED!
Family and friends have questions and concerns. I respect that. That shows me you care and have a heart for me that you don't want to get hurt. I AM GRATEFUL. You guys have a heart that hurts when Jon and I get hurt.
I have been called to be the heart that will hurt for this little peanut.
I AM HONORED!
Parenting hurts. It is full of risk. Any way you try to slice this apple, heartbreak is inevitable.
And then there is blessing.
We did not make this decision thinking- "We are hopeless, we want a child, We... We.... We...."
But rather this was about one thing only:
God put it on our heart.
We inquired about some orphaned children in Eastern Europe with Down Syndrome and we wept. Literally.
And like Nehemiah we prayed that God forgive us our sins and grant us success to help be part of their story of rescue and redemption.
Also like ole Nehemiah we did not tell many people what God put on our heart (Nehemiah 2:12) while we examined the remaining walls. Not just the facts of the situation, children, or agency but more importantly the walls of our heart. We started really listening. AND THE SPIRIT KEPT TALKING. This is where I apologize if you felt left out. We had to pray and answer this calling before we made a decision to tell everyone.
There is a chance we could get burned. There is a chance I will call my mom with a broken heart during this process.And yes,this is a life long change. Let's be honest, this is also an inevitable fact of parenting. When I called my mom broken, 28 years after she brought me home as a baby, and told her I lost my baby, she hurt. She cried with me. She came up to care for me and was simply mom and I was daughter.
28 years later. She is still Mom.
Someday this little guy might be a giant Eastern European Man. I will still be his Mom and he will be my son. How will that look?
I do understand the concerns and question as this was a huge "word bomb" we exploded on everyone. I hear you. I respect you.
heart. What is scaring you and why? How can God cover that fear with faith?
2. Read Nehemiah. God does indeed still speak- and how did Nehemiah decide God placed
this on his heart? How did he respond? What amazing things did he accomplish?
3. Research Down Syndrome. We really do not know the extent of his delays but we have
been told that to the best of their knowledge THE ONLY THING MEDICALLY DIFFERENT
ABOUT THIS CHILD IS ONE EXTRA CHROMOSOME. What does that mean? I think you
will be surprised to find that it is not as scary as it looks.
3. Encourage us. I am calling it the Double T. We are THRILLED and TERRIFIED. God has
already placed some friends in my life that have uplifted me over the last week in a way that I
know was Spirit led. Will you also let the Spirit use you to encourage us?
4. Be excited. You are now Grandparents. Aunts. Uncles. Life-long partners and Friends in this
celebration of life. This is going to be AWESOME. Even during the heartbreak. Because
God's glory is going to be shown in this step of faith no matter what happens- and it is
HUMBLING and EXCITING that we get to be a part of that.
And then, when you are ready, pray for this child. He needs someone to pick him up NOW and when he cries at night he needs someone to cuddle. Join me in praying God send a person to be his designated cuddler until I can take over that role. Pray for us, that God shapes my heart into a heart of a mother. That God guides Hubs in all these decisions and gives him wisdom and patience at every turn. For protection and wisdom and FAITH.
Several months ago I stated "Because I know my life will never be: unfruitful, unproductive, sterile, barren, or exhausted. Jesus whispers something else to me the morning after: I have come that they may have life,and have it to the full."