Changing the line-up

Announcement. What I am about to share took a lot of deep thought and soul searching.
I am changing my celebrity friendship lineup. (Don't act like you don't have one. The couple of celebs that you would hang out with on a regular basis.) See here for my previous crew. It has been a solid unchanging list for several years now and I felt the need to evolve it as I myself have evolved.
And with this I say, Beyonce, you have been a good celebrity pal. Your superior dance moves and rockin thighs have always somehow made my days better. The effort you make to get our youth hip and healthy is duly noted. With that, We need to move on. Of course Jay Z is still part of the crew so by default you would still make it to say birthday parties, etc.
Tina Fey, you are a classic. My weird obsession with female comedians all started with you. You are just in a different league now. Comedian Mom. It would be hard to relate to your new mom based jokes when we meet up at the coffee shop.
So with two spots vacant, it is important to keep my gang well rounded. I need my go to comedian, which I think I am pretty set on Mindy Kaling. The music video above pretty much settles the debate. I also need to fill the opening of Superstar. (Jay-Z does not fit this. He is not just a rock-star. He is the world dominator-entrepreneur-pays for everyone's dinner every time-friend.) This is where I am really up in the air and looking for guidance. This is a serious decision. Your Celebrity friend line up say a lot about who you are as a person!
 Suggestions. Who is on your list?
Here are some ridiculously lame but seriously awesome quizzes to help:
http://just-for-mom.quiz.kaboose.com/36-who-is-your-celebrity-best-friend
http://www.beautyriot.com/makeup-beauty/whos-celeb-best-friend-q6881 (Loved this one because it paired me with Natalie Portman!)
http://www.mylifetime.com/fun-quizzes/celebrity/which-celebs-could-be-your-best-friends (Terrifying results. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes! What the Heck Happened!)

What happens when I try to study...

Easy as 123

Built in 1905

The Curb appeal

Walk right into to the living room. Remember things are still IN PROGRESS. No harsh judging!

This little gem of a buffet table Jon grabbed when he was helping move his uncle's  mom to a nursing home.  He came in apologizing about how dated it was..... I fell in love! PERFECT FIT!

My sweet little Granny painted the tea set as a wedding present! Vase: Home Goods $9.99

guest bedroom (ready for friend and fam to come visit- hint hint!)

Reading room. Which has now been rightly dubbed "Woman Cave" by the mother-in-law. Jon turned the closet into a built in for the TV.  We sanded, primed, and painted all the trim and doors white. Now I have a place to go when all the boys take over the man cave.

This was the Reading room as the previous owners had it... to bad they took all their furniture right?!?

Ok so the work continues on.....
Master Bedroom:. The room is so big and I really do not have any furniture to put in it yet.

Man Cave: Up and running with the essentials. Couch and Giant TV!

Kitchen: Boy howdy. That project feels burdensome. Once it begins I know it will be a huge nuisance and commitment so I have been avoiding starting at all costs! Can I microwave my oatmeal? yes. Can I make my mac'n'cheese? indeed. So what's the hurry?

Office: This is where I hid all the stuff/junk I don't know what to do with still.
Home owning is fun but I am ready to have the home decorating part done and just do the home living thing for awhile.

Dare to pop?

The Bubble Wrap Calendar
Genius! Why do I not think of these fantastic ideas to make me rich?
Problem:
Can you really stop yourself from popping all the days? I know I do not have the needed self-discipline to stop myself.

Stop

image via Courage-Hope-Strength

Go ahead and Enjoy yourself. Stop being a victim and start being a Conqueror. Women (and sometimes guys) have what my hubs and I dubbed the Victim-Complex. It is like we have to prove that our life is the most difficult to establish the idea we are stronger than others. Or maybe it makes us feel like we have an excuse when life doesn't work out just as we wanted. I don't think we even realize we are doing it. Posting things on facebook. Trying to top each others bad work day stories. And now-a-days every person I meet was mad fun of in high school. Which they probably all were because it is high school, filled with guess what- TEENAGERS. (Megan Fox reports she was even ridiculed. You have to say if hot mess MeggyMeg can't make it out of high school without being made fun of- WHO CAN?)
 Is it because we think that is what we deserve? Are we embarrassed to say I love my job? Are we afraid people will say, "who is she that she thinks she gets to enjoy life?"  You are good enough for a good day, a GREAT day, a loving husband, a compassionate mom, a job well done, hilarious friends, a lazy day where you never changed out of your pj's. You are good enough. If you had a bad day, that stinks. I hate bad days, the ones that everything is going wrong. You could cry at any moment. You are literally considering growling at a co-worker. It is not what you deserve though. If you are having a bad day every day..... I would look into that. That doesn't make you stronger than others or a harder worker than others. It might be time for some CH-CH-CH-Changes. Changes in your job, friends, or maybe your Spirit/Attitude. You are also good enough for help if you need it. Ask for it. Because when it comes down to it- We are all survivors. Amanda beautifully reminded a friend after what was truly a very bad day, that we are all more than CONQUERORS! (Romans 8:37). Instead of competing against each other to be the victim, share with each other how we are conquerors.
Have a Great day today and if you do, feel free to share that news. Let me know so I can enjoy the news too!

2011 Christmas Break Reading list

image via LibraryThings.com

Whether Christmas Break is the perfect time to catch up on some reading or you need to give that nerdy book lover a gift, here is what I recommending this year:

The Hunger Games Series by Suzanne Collins
When it comes to reading I will admit I can sometimes be snobby about it. Twilight, for example, I judge it harshly. I can watch the movie and enjoy myself because I love movies, almost all movies, but reading Twilight was hard for me. Maybe it is because the story is not new for me. Buffy loved Angel long before Bella fell in love with Edward. One of my besties, who just happens to be a huge Twilight fan, recommended The Hunger Games. "UUGHH- not another Twilighty book that everyone will be wildly crazed about," I judgmentally pondered. But I gave it a chance and....
I am on board the Crazy Hunger Games Train! TOOT TOOT!
Sooo. The whole premise of these books is quite HARSH and morbid when you think about it. The government forcing Kids to fight to the death for sport on t.v. in an effort to prevent rebellion. EEK. I wanted to hate it. I wanted to judge the literary fun out of it! I read it in two days. The second one in one day. When I had to stop for dinner plans in the middle of the second book I was thinking about that silly Katniss girl the whole evening and wondering how in the world she would survive.


Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me by Mindy Kaling
She is a fave on the Office and it is not surprising she has written a funny and smart book that has stories and memories that will resonate with most women.


BossyPants- Tina Fey
Finally find out how she got that scar!


Shanghai Girls- Lisa See
Historical Fiction delight. Sometimes my love for historical fiction keeps me in a Jewish WWII or a pre-Civil War slavery world and it was nice to have a new adventure following two sisters in China and L.A. during the 1930's.

Hold it in

One of my few memories from first grade: my first "boyfriend" Victor. Hispanic, deaf, and a major Rico Suave. I became obsessed with sign language. It was essential to our relationship! I signed up for all the sign language courses at the day camp Kid's College that summer. The rest of my friends enjoyed the ever popular "Wild-n-Wacky Kids" class where they had water balloon fights, crazy games, and one day in the carpool line they were even covered in slime. I, however, had my notebook with the 100+ signs I was determined to learned by the end of that month and had no time for childish things like slime. It would just mess up my organized and clean notebook. We were quite serious. Victor found an earring under the swings on the playground and gave it to me. I was smart enough to know that I probably shouldn't wear it, but I did understand that a boy gave me jewelry and that meant something fierce. The fire between Victor and I some-how eventually sizzled out. I think I found him teaching signs to Leann at recess and couldn't forgive his indiscretions. I guess I should have signed up for Wild-n-Wacky Kids.

House Sneak Peak

Our new little bungalow. Built in 1905. As soon as I finally get unpacked (at this rate that could be 2012) I will invite you in to see more. Or another solution, come visit and you can stay in the guest room. Disclaimer, visitors may be required to dig through boxes to find the extra linens :)!

Miss Reprenstation

Newest Miss Representation Trailer (2011 Sundance Film Festival Official Selection) from Miss Representation on Vimeo.



I am not some super feminist. HOWEVER. The images and scenes they showed in the video montage in this trailer were really taken from popular culture. How did they make you feel? Degraded? And when you hear those teenagers talk about how they feel about it.... How does that make you feel? A smidgen angry and sad?
While there are parts and statements that I do not completely agree with in this video, I found it a powerful reminder to think carefully about giving support to certain media that is definitely not supporting me. Also it reminds me to be the role model of the type of women I want these teenagers to be influenced by and become.

oh look a dancing goat

As we drove through small country towns along the route to visit the grandparents, my mom would make random comments about how peaceful it would be to have a cow and a goat and how much she wanted one. haha..... I don't think she really thought it through. It would just look so picture-book when we would pass by giant farm houses with wrap around porches and small baby goats and cows off in the field.
Last weekend at the pumpkin patch, a stinky grungy goat purposefully tried to pee on me. Seriously, it was intentional. We were feeding him the silly goat food and when we ran out, he gave me the stank-eye and then turned around to pee on me. Anything but peaceful.

She was probably picturing something more like the little hopper in the above video. Here is your peaceful moment Mom.


Image via Cafe Cosecha

Let me rediscover you

I am so thankful for my family and friends. Old and new. (special shout out to new friend A, who gave an inspiring half-time pep-talk on our lunch break) Sometimes I want to shake people and yell "DO YOU KNOW HOW AWESOME YOU ARE?!"
One thing almost every conversation seemed to circle back to is this thought of remembering where/what/who I place my identity in. Yes, I absolutely want to be a great nurse but that alone does not define me.
Who/What are you putting your identity in? What do you want to define you?
Today as I procrastinate working on mid-terms, I am also taking a moment of rediscovering what, Who, I choose to find my identity in.

Help me to see the joy of giving

Stopping Evil Willow

Oh Willow. Shy, innocent, Nerdy Friend of a vampire slayer. Wait.... that's not right. She dated bad boy werewolf Seth Green, then switched it up to dating a girl, and then turned into Dark-Scary-Peel-Your Skin-Off-And-And-End-The-World Witch. This chick was totally a dynamic character!
I feel like Willow demonstrates just how crazy out of control our emotions can get sometimes. Time after time, I hear a girlfriend tell me a story about how she lost control of her emotions. "I don't even know what I was so upset about." or "My poor boyfriend/husband, he had no idea what to do". This is why we need Buffy's and Xanders in our lives people. You need your other girlfriends to tell you that you are not crazy, you are a woman! :)
Sometimes in these crazy moments, I almost start laughing. Because I am sure it looks a lot like this scene. I am Angry-about to destroy the world-Evil Carly, picking fights with my precious hubs, then all of the sudden I am a heap on the floor crying. EPIC! How Dramatic!
Hubs is probably completely confused.
I just love the classic beating of Xander's chest till she falls to the ground in his arms. HAHA... So Good, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, So darn good! :)
The next time your Evil Unstable Willow is surfacing, here is a recap of a plan I use to help try and keep it short and less destructive to those around me:

1. Skip to the Cry. Really, somewhere down inside, you are probably angry because your feelings are hurt or you have given someone enough power to make you feel bad about yourself.(Dang it I do that so much) Crying is a lot less damaging to our own bodies and others then all that anger. Willow did some serious damage on her anger rampage.(seriously that skin-peeling scene still haunts me).

2. Think of a character's breakdown. I go here, to Willow. Or the ever dramatic Anne of Green Gables. Another classic is Jessie Spano's fiasco on Saved by the Bell. It either a)makes me laugh at how out-of-touch with reality I am that I am acting that crazy or b)reminds me that this happens to everyone so much that they can put it in books and shows because we can all relate. I am not crazy! I am just having one crazy moment!


3. Go do something. TV is not good. Surfing the Web, not good. Standing in front of the mirror, HORRIBLE IDEA. These things make you feel worse about yourself. GO! Go run your errands- grocery store, library, etc. Go vacuum the house. Pick a craft project off the ridiculously addicting PINTEREST. Blog. Journal. Exercise. Call a friend for lunch. Do your homework. Even in the ideal environment of the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam a job because He knows we need to be busy or we get silly!

4. Share the moment. We keep everything so secretive. Call your mom. Share in your girls bible study. Meet up with your significant other to talk. I call my bestie up in Austin who makes me feel less crazy, validates my feelings, then we move on and talk about other happenings. But we need to share, you will find out that you are not alone and we have all been there. The Xanders in our life tell us they love us and sometimes that is exactly what we need to hear during these rampages.

5. Remember to be the Xander for someone else. Once you find your happy place again, don't forget how overwhelming it feels to be out of control and look out for your friends having their Willow or Jessie Spano moments. Remind them that you love them always. Sometimes they might even need to beat up on you for a second till they fall into your arms crying. ;)Be willing to take a couple hits.

We are not crazy we just have crazy moments! Your feelings are VALID! :) Yay for hormones and emotions!

Running with style

Went for my first outside run of the season. Fall, for some people, is here when the pumpkin spice latte is back, or perhaps it's getting ready for Halloween, or these days you know its fall when Christmas decor hits Hobby Lobby. For me, its being able to run outside again.
Yes, I realize I could have been running outside anyway but I enjoy breathing, staying hydrated, not throwing up and avoiding heat strokes. In my head, where I am CEO of fantasy land, I am an incredible super-athlete with a resting heart rate of 40 and built of solid muscle. In the real world, there is NOOO way I can run outside if it is above 90 degrees. NO way. I would cry and have to call J to pick me up somewhere.
Lets go ahead and be real honest with each other- I did not do well. I have not run outside since spring and my body let me know that this decision was unexpected. But my body also loved it. As I started running, my thighs worked and as my muscles were waking up and they stared screaming "it's about time". My lungs stretched open and my heart pumped furiously to keep up and I loved it. And I hated it. I made it 3 miles and then almost threw up while waiting for the crosswalk to blink go on the way home.
At the "oh mercy alive- I'm about to throw up in front of all these cars" moment I thought to myself "WHY am I not doing this more". This is going to sound simply juvenile but I felt so good that at one point I even through my arms wide open while I jogged. Then I realized what I was doing and immediately pulled myself together. Only Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow can run like that and get away with it.
All day I felt better about myself- Like I was some magnificent Olympian for running (jogging) 3 miles. The getting up to do it- bummer, the motivating myself to do it- difficult, the actually working out part- painful, the post-work out feeling of accomplishment- TOTALLY WORTH IT.
Did I inspire you to set your alarm for 4:30 a.m. tomorrow? yeah..... I'm still trying to convince myself to do it again tomorrow too.

Faking it to Make it

I am no Rebecca Bloomwood but sometimes…..
I can’t tell if I am making it or faking it.
I do believe there is some validity to the silly mantra, “fake it till you make it.” While probably not ideal to pad your resume Bloomwood style, I am guilty of applying the fake it technique in a different subject area. When it comes to negative thinking (especially about yourself) sometimes you just have to find a way to make yourself stop. For my fellow strugglers, simply stopping doesn’t always cut it. You have to replace the thoughts and quickly take up all the extra room in your head with something else or negativity wiggles and squirm s its way back in.

Hence, start faking it. Some mornings I wake up feeling in a “poo on a stick” kind of mood. I can’t take my hair, my face, my acne, my outfit, my lack of skills at work, my, my…….. STOP. What a horrible way to start your day. This isn’t the mood I want to burden myself or the ones I love with. Spending my whole day obsessing over myself is not going to help. So I fake it. I force a smile on and go to work. In the car I dance extra crazy to a song I don’t even like on the radio. I greet everyone with a smile and hearty hello on the bus. I act like this is the best freakin day in my life. I say cheesy stuff to fill up my head like:
“I love my job!” “I am so blessed to have this job!”
No lie, I start listing positive traits about the people I work with. Ex: {Name} is so passionate about loving children, {Name} seems so sincere and down to earth, etc . This shifts my thoughts from me to others, but still the trick is to stay affirmative about others or you will find yourself back in a sour mood.

Before I know it, I am hanging a 10 o’clock medicine for a patient and sincerely investing in conversation with a parent. I am engaged in people, fostering relationships, doing my job the best I can, enjoying my job the best I can and have completely forgotten that I was faking it. I realize I have been cheerful and pleasant all morning. I don’t even know at what point the transition took place, but somewhere along the way I was no longer faking it, I was making it.

There are bad days too. Where you are tired, unfriendly, and really just want to simply get through the day. And that is ok. This isn’t really about BAD days. I am sharing how I a stop the Negative thought cycle from spinning all day. I am not advocating the idea to never be real with your emotions.

Some people will read this and think this makes me shallow or fake, or less deep and sincere. If that is you, I have a hunch that you are a) super hot and/or super confident :) so have never been sucked up into a Negative Tornado that has blown to pieces any possibility of a good day or b) probably misunderstanding me…. This is most likely due to the fact that I am not always the best at clearly getting out my point.

Without fear of sounding arrogant,(Ok that is a lie, I am a little worried that this will sound arrogant) I am proud of myself that these “poo on a stick” mornings do not come as often as they used to. I am sooo glad that they don’t.

Never enough time

12 hours can be a long day but I really wanted to still be fun and hang out with the hubs after work. This is how Jon found Patches the cat and me after my last four shifts in a row. We came home from dinner and my task was to go find a movie for us to watch on Netflix. I don't remember but Jon said I never even turned on the TV. Glad to see I am still fun to be around! :)

Oh dear, and we are adding moving and grad school into the mix. I am going to need to adjust quickly or we are going to have a Jessie Spano, "Never enough time" breakdown in our near future. Everyone wish my husband good luck with that.

Vanilla Hearts

An attempt at Shortbread cookies:

Recently I have found myself enjoying the melt in your mouth deliciousness of the shortbread cookies at Panera Bread and felt that an eggless pastry should be something I could recreate in my own kitchen. I found a Vanilla Hearts recipe and accepted the challenge. But why limit myself to hearts when I have the tools at hand to construct STARS.... yeah baby!

Batch #1

So Hearts are evidently the chosen geometrical shape for a reason. The stars were a FAIL! Should have seen that coming.

Batch #2

Spent a little less time in the oven and the results improved.

The stars, however, did turn into a scrumptious coffee pastry this morning. Dunking those crunchy ends into my steamy fresh cup of joe was the perfect solution.

Overall my Shortbread attempt was a little "short" of a success.

HR Week High Five Moments

1. Discovering I can wear TCH T-shirts with my scrub bottoms. Pajamas basically. I will wear pajamas to work while the rest of the world puts on their business casual. I came home yesterday and Jon thought I was wearing a Track suit. I get to wear a royal blue track suit to work.

2. My Benefits = Free Baby. ok. That does not sound right. But basically the hospital (as long as I go to TCH/St. Lukes) is free -100% covered- when you have a baby. Steal of deal... even better than the rug from the last blog. End the rumor before it starts: I DO NOT NEED THIS SERVICE YET! I am just thinking of future baby. Sorry Mom and Kelli, didn't mean to get anyone excited. Take a moment to regroup if you need to.

3. When introducing ourselves to the HR rep we were supposed to say our name and then the unit we have been assigned. For example I said, "Carly, rocking the PICU." urggggh... I know. Word vomit. See what I am talking about with the awkwardly trying too hard to be cool.

But the story gets better. One girl said, "{her name}, acute care." A concern and confused look overcame the face of our HR lady and she emphatically responded "of course I care!" I could not hold back my annoyingly loud gasps for air as I laughed. No...... Don’t get it yet? She heard "do you care?” instead of “acute care.” If you saw how surprised and perplexed the HR women looked you would see the funny here. Once again, it is the simple things that make me happy.

4. My fist bump with Mark Wallace. Thanks to new friend crush Adrienne A for making that happen. Mark Wallace is the CEO of TCH. Adrienne called him over (see why the crush) when we saw him walking in the lobby. He wished us good luck in our new jobs by offering our small group some celebratory high-fives. Except when it was my turn I guess he wanted to mix-it–up a little because I got a “pound it” then he politely asked permission if it was ok for him to “blow it up” which of course I answered, “YES, let’s blow it up.” Maybe next time I will teach him the “jelly fish”.

Self Confi-dunce

A must read for us that have our struggles with confidence! Loved it...

Basically I love this website. I hesitated to share this link because this site is my secret obsession :) (co-founded by Zoey Deschanel how cannot it not be addicting)

but the article had to be shared.

Go...........

Self Confi-dunce

Looking for a Gayle.

I am trying to play it cool. I am meeting new people and bringing the A game in the effort to make a good first impression. Hopefully they will think I am sweet, friendly, and maybe a little funny. Really I just want to say, LIKE ME! BE MY FRIEND! SIT WITH ME! CALL ME! ;)

Good grief...When did I become so crazy? Historically, I am the friend-maker. Up for the challenge. Witty, friendly, and creatively finding ways to avoid the awkward "don't know what to talk about next" moments when getting to know new people. This is why I find it paradoxical that I am stumbling over words, letting the silence linger to that uncomfortable point, and seriously getting hot flashes when I am talking to people that I am starting to be smitten with (the friend-crush kind of smitten). I am tiptoeing the line of friendly and stalker-like.

What I really want: Is a Gayle. A Jennifer Aniston. A Dionne Davenport. A Rose.

Or switch it around: A Oprah. A Courtney Cox. A Cher from Clueless. A Blanche.

I am going to spend some time with the hubs this weekend regrouping. Give the new people I met a chance to forget some of the socially awkward moments that I accidentally created and start fresh Monday. :)

Oprah image via People

image via PBS on how to make friends. yeah. I read it and plan to put it in action. Talk to me next week

about it or maybe not. Because I might be to busy with all my new friends that this article helped me get.